Peek & Critique articles are when I share a portion of a project I am currently working on, and you, my reader, get to read it, and tell me how you think it can be made better. Keep in mind that everything in a Peek & Critique article is only the first draft. It’s not the final copy that will end up in a published book.
Today I decided to share part of Veteran’s Day in January, a short story I wrote. Enjoy!
Airley rolled over and threw her hand in the direction of the alarm clock. Slap! Her hand started to throb.
At least it stopped. I guess I’d better get up. But It’s so cold! I have to get up. But the covers are so warm! I see your point. But just a few minutes, then I’ll get up.
Airley turned over and pulled the covers over her head. She closed her eyes. It only took a few minutes for her to fall back asleep.
Airley sat up and looked at the alarm, and saw it was 7:40.
Great! I’m going to be late!
She threw the covers off, and jumped out of bed. Her feet hit the hard wood floor and instantly reminded her what season it was. Snow fell softly outside the window and covered everything beyond in a white haze. Airley ran to her closet and slipped on her slippers before going to the bathroom.
Airley wriggled into a pair of leggings. Weeks of experience had taught her that she needed to be well clothed when she went to the gym. Then she slipped into her royal blue leotard. Silver stars sparkled as Airley gracefully pirouetted in front of the mirror on the back of her door, inspecting her outfit. Her black hair was pulled up into a ponytail, and fastened with a scrunchy that matched her leotard. Her hazel eyes scanned over her bare brown skin checking for any jewelry that she had missed. They found none. She nodded at the mirror in approval, and headed back to the closet to find her shoes.
Stiffly, Airley sat on the floor of her closet and reached for her tennis shoes. Clothes filled half of the wall and slightly brushed the top of her head. A basket full of letters in the corner looked ready to spill. Pictures of Airley with friends, family, and teammates decorated the lower half of the wall. In the center of the pictures, hanging crookedly taped to the wall, was a letter from Tim her older brother who had joined the Marines. Airley softly stroked the paper.
I wonder if he has any friends in the Marines. With no family around, and the bitter cold, I bet he’s lonely. I wonder what I could do to make him feel loved.
“Airley! Come get your breakfast. I’ve got to take you to the gym soon,” called Airley’s Mom from downstairs.
“Coming mom!” she answered jumping up. She grabbed a hoodie, and a pair of sweatpants, then tumbled down the stairs.